“You sure don’t look like a pastor,” the man said in a deep voice with a southern twang.

The pastor simply replied, “Thank you.”

What the gentlemen certainly intended to be negative criticism was actually received as a compliment.

The man continued, “Well, it’s just that pastors look a certain way, you know?”

The pastor said, “Actually, I’m not sure what you mean?”

The man then attempted to explain what an “appropriate pastor” looks like and how he just couldn’t wrap his head around pastors not wearing a suit and tie. Just imagine how the man must have felt when the pastor introduced him to his colleague, a female pastor!

So, let’s be honest for a moment, there has been an unspoken…wait, I just called for honesty…So, there has been a spoken expectation that pastors “look the part.” While I do understand this has a different meaning in different settings, the generalized assumption in many mainline congregations is that the pastor will wear a suit, tie, fancy (but not expensive) shoes, robe over the suit for the service, clean shave, well-groomed (not long) hair, no tattoos…and, in some circles, male.

As the man finished his list of “how a pastor should look,” the pastor replied, “Well, I’ve always placed more of a value on ‘being’ than ‘looking’ the part. You see, rather than placing a high value on the pastors appearance, I think it’s more important that the pastor possess the fruits of spirit – which oddly enough have nothing to do with how the pastor dresses.”

In reflecting on this conversation, I’m reminded that there are well-meaning church folk who are much more concerned with the appearance than the heart of the pastor. Some reading this may find themselves thinking, “Oh, that can’t be true.”

Well, let me just say, I can testify that I have received more critique on how I dress than I have on my theology, my preaching, or other aspects of the actual “work” of the pastor.

In a previous congregation, one Sunday I had a slip of the tongue when talking about sheep and accidentally said, “sh*t” during the children’s moment! I was trying to say “sheep sit!” My superintendent happened to be visiting that day. He laughed! A few folks commented, “Oh pastor, that just made me feel a lot better. I guess we’re all human.” Not a single negative comment.

A few weeks later, I wore my nicest pair of jeans (which I rarely wear jeans because I hate jeans), a nice shirt that was actually tucked in, and a sport coat. I received three, yes three (only one signed), letters informing me that it was inappropriate for the pastor to wear jeans.

Now, the sad part is, I’m sure those people really thought I would care about their opinions. I’m sure they thought that their letters would convict me and I would get my wardrobe in order. However, my inner-rebel-spirit would not allow that. The next week featured jeans, an untucked shirt and a sport coat. The week after that featured jeans, an untucked shirt, and get this…no sport coat!

Surprisingly enough, the walls of the church did not fall down. The Spirit still moved. The Word was still proclaimed.

I’m one of those pastors who leads with the “what you see is what you get” approach. I’m not going to be (or dress like) someone I am not. My parents taught me to be confident in who I am. So, I guess if you don’t like my fashion style, you can blame Bob and Jan!

I was always taught that if you received a piece of clothing or shoes from your grandma, mom, wife or kids that it automatically qualified as “church clothes.” Again, if you don’t like my style, blame the people who buy my shirts and shoes!

I guess what I’m trying to get at is this…if the pastors fashion is controversial, it just might indicate that we have lost sight of what is truly important. Seriously, this just might help reveal why those outside the church are less interested with each passing day in what the Church has to offer.

Maybe we can focus on those things that truly matter?

“My faith guides my vote.”

This is a phrase that we often hear the closer we get to Election Day.

The thought behind this statement is that “MY” vote is the “RIGHT” vote because I’m a person of faith and “GOD” directed me to vote for “THIS” candidate.

I generally hear this phrase from folks who have an idea that I may have voted for a candidate other than their preferred candidate. This is an attempt to justify ones vote by saying, “I mean, I know this candidate is not ideal, BUT GOD…” or to say, “If you voted for the other candidate, you must not really take Jesus or the Bible seriously.”

When I hear “my faith guides my vote,” I often reply, “Yep, my faith also guides my vote.”

So, here we have two people, who may have voted for different candidates, both claiming that their faith guided their actions in the voting booth.

Now we have to ask, “Is one person right and the other wrong?” While we all want to respond, “Of course, I AM RIGHT,” the more appropriate answer is “who knows?”.

Both people have strongly held convictions shaped and guided by their faith traditions, prayers and understanding of their sacred text. Both people came to different conclusions. How can this be?

Within my theological heritage, we use something called the Wesleyan Quadrilateral to help inform our understanding of a wide variety of topics. By searching Scripture, tradition, experience and reason, we do our best to come to conclusions that will honor God. At times, we revisit some of our understandings because of access to expanding information that sheds new light on our traditional understanding.

So, yes, both people proclaim that their faith guides their vote. And, both people are most likely being honest when they make that proclamation.

However, those two people just might interpret Scripture and tradition differently. Both people may have had different experiences that shape their understanding and elevate the importance of some issues over others. Both people take what they know, take what they believe, spend time in prayer and study and arrive at different conclusions.

Who is right? Who is wrong? Who knows?

What we seem to have lost in this search for who is right and who is wrong is the ability to have civil conversations. When we find out that one of our Christian friends has a different political stance, we engage in arguments. Sometimes, we even question their faith. I have experienced that firsthand.

We unfollow, unfriend and block them from our social feeds – almost eliminating their existence from our daily lives. We turn them into the enemy. We’ve seemingly lost the ability to “agree to disagree.”

I am terrible at this. I often find myself asking, “How can someone who claims to be a Christ-follower vote for someone like that?” I become dismissive. I become arrogant. I become rude. I add to the division and vitriol that is so prevalent in our world today.

Maybe my neighbor who votes differently than me really is being guided by his or her faith? Maybe I don’t need to judge and dismiss them because I see things differently. Maybe I can find a way to engage in civil conversations, not to dismiss them, not to convince them to see things my way, but to better understand where they are coming from.

“We’re looking for a church that preaches from the Bible.”

It’s a statement that pastors have heard countless times. Whether it’s from someone visiting for the first time, someone you strike up a conversation with in a social setting or a critique from someone exiting the congregation, most clergy have heard this statement.

Now, I’ve been a professional Christian for about 25 years. In those twenty-five years, I’ve yet to visit or work at a church that fails to “preach from the Bible.” I’ve yet to meet a pastor who fails to “preach from the Bible.”

In fact, even when I think back my 23 years as an amateur Christian, I can’t remember ever attending or visiting a church that failed to “preach from the Bible.”

Recently, I’ve heard a few people say they’ve had friends, colleagues and acquaintances say they are searching for a “Bible-believing, Bible-preaching” church. Again, even when throwing “Bible-believing” into the mix, I’ve yet to encounter a church or pastor that fails to pass this litmus test. I mean, even the ones who interpret the Bible in much different ways than I do firmly believe in and preach from the Bible.

When I hear this phrase, I often think of The Princess Bride, when Inigo Montoya says, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

After having the words of Montoya run through my mind, I find myself making some general assumptions about this persons theological perspective. I stereotype this person as being more conservative and more Evangelical than the average United Methodist. Again, this is a stereotype and not limited to one side of the conservative/liberal coin.

I also come to the conclusion that this person would not find what they are looking for in any of the churches I have served. Well, at least not while I’ve been part of those congregations.

What is generally meant when this comment is made is, “I’m looking for a church that will preach sermons that won’t challenge my strongly held religious and political beliefs.”

You see, when pastors preach sermons that challenge us and make us uncomfortable, we are tempted to dismiss it by saying, “that’s not really Biblical, that’s political.”

Often, what has been said by the pastor really isn’t political, but is actually Biblical. We just don’t like what it says because it just might reveal that our primary allegiance is our preferred political party, not Jesus. It’s easier to say, “The church has become too political” or “The church just isn’t preaching the Bible,” than it is to say, “I will not allow my political allegiance to be challenged by my faith.”

What we’re really saying is that we want to find a church that will allow us to remain comfortable holding whatever views we happen to hold.

So, when you hear someone say that they left a church because they didn’t preach the Bible or they were too political, don’t assume that whatever church they last attended did not preach the Bible.

Most likely that church did preach from the Bible, they just didn’t like what the Bible had to say.

In the song, “Englishman in New York,” Sting encourages us to “be yourself no matter what they say.” I believe these are wise and important words.

Yet, too often, we are tempted to shy away from being ourselves.

When God spoke to Joshua, the Lord said, “I hereby command you: Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9). In other words, “Be yourself no matter what they say.”

Recently, I’ve been thinking about the importances of churches (as a whole and as the individual clergy and laity making up unique congregations) being themselves.

Churches, much like individuals, get into the comparison game. And, too often, when we compare ourselves to others, the comparisons are apples to oranges, rather than apples to apples.

On a recent Rainer on Leadership podcast, the Rainer’s shared that 92% of churches have 250 people or less. So, most churches are small to mid-sized.

Yet, most churches compare themselves to the megachurch down the street. Are there things to learn from the megachurch down the street? Absolutely. Should the megachurch down the street be the ruler by which we judge our ministry? Absolutely not.

It’s a natural thing to do in the church world. We’ve created the platform for this type of comparison. When pastors and laity go to conferences, the featured speakers are from the “largest” and “fastest growing” churches around the globe. I can’t remember the last time I went to a conference where the featured speaker was from a church experiencing rapid decline, stagnation or mediocrity. The featured speakers have book deals, hundreds of thousands of followers on social media platforms (and probably pay a social media assistant to manage their accounts), personal assistants, stylists, and celebrity status within the Christian bubble. When this is what is being featured, that’s what we’ll be tempted to compare ourselves to.

We tend to compare ourselves to the wrong things.

Of course, I’m convinced that a church of 250 doesn’t need to compare itself to a church of 250. A church of 80 doesn’t need to compare itself to a church of 80. A church of 2-3 doesn’t need to compare itself to a church of 2-3. A church of 3,500 doesn’t need to compare itself to a church of 3,500. Comparison is a game that we were never called to play. We should measure our own fruit. We should measure our effectiveness of fulfilling our mission.

Sure, we can learn some “best practices” from others, but comparison is not a game I’m interested in playing.

I’m fully convinced that comparison is a killer. Comparison has a tendency to produce feelings of inadequacy. When we compare ourselves to the church down the street, we are generally only comparing ourselves to that congregations successes. When we don’t see the rapid growth, the number of people in the pews, the kind of giving or the missional impact within the community, we can be tempted to throw in the towel.

At the same time, comparison can produce pride. When we aren’t comparing ourselves to the success of the congregation down the street, we’re comparing ourselves to their failures. Or we look for the churches that aren’t quite at the same level we are.

Listen, pastors are bad at this…When we gather together, you can hear people ask “how many did you have in the congregation on Sunday?” Again, we are conditioned for this…at least in my denomination…where each week we are asked to fill out a form that doesn’t exactly ask for stories of transformation and missional impact. The form asks for the numbers – how many in worship…how many online…how many in small groups…how many in children’s church…how much money did you bring in. These are important things to be tracking because they can tell you about the missional impact of the congregation. But, it’s also tempting to then compare yourself to those around you. After filling out the form, we can click a button that says “see the reports” and you can see the numbers from churches throughout the district, conference and denomination…well, you can see the numbers from churches that have filled out the form. This can produce competition, pride and feelings of inadequacy.

The majority of small, midsize, large and shrinking congregations are being served by faithful and hardworking clergy and laity (not all- lazy pastors kill congregations faster than scandals; disagreeable and stubborn congregations can stunt growth, stall momentum and kill congregations- in many cases, selfishness that is the problem). When we waste time in the comparison, those faithful and hardworking clergy and laity can feel inadequate, hurt, lonely, and begin to question their call.

Rather than comparing ourselves to the church down the street, we should celebrate the church down the street! Celebrate, don’t compare. God didn’t call you to be like the pastor down the street. God didn’t call your church to be like the church down the street.

Instead of comparing ourselves to others, what if the church simply strives to “be yourself no matter what they say?” What if the church simply works to become a place of true respite and renewal, a place of healing and hope, a place that leaves us feeling better about ourselves, our community, our world…

What if churches were guilt free zones, judgment free zones, comparison free zones…

Pastors of small, mid-sized and large churches, be confident in who you are. Be strong and courageous. Do your best where you’re at, with who you’re with…whether it’s a full stadium or an audience of one. Our call isn’t to be like anyone else…well, we’re striving to become more and more like Jesus…but no one else. Our call is faithful obedience to the way of Jesus.

Laity of small, mid-sized and large churches, be confident in who you are. Be strong and courageous. Do your best where you’re at, with who you’re with…whether you are surrounded by a few or hundreds or thousands. Your call isn’t to be like anyone else…well, do strive to be like Jesus. Your call is faithful obedience to the way of Jesus.

Maybe if we stop comparing ourselves to the church down the street…or the church on the other side of the country or the other side of the world…we will start bearing the fruit God planted us to grow. Maybe it’s when we stop trying to keep up with the latest trends and gimmicks and are confident in who we are that we will see our churches becoming transformed into communities of hope that are loving God and loving people by serving together.

Church, listen to Sting. “Be yourself no matter what we say.”

Church, don’t be like Sting. Drink coffee instead of tea (if you are familiar with the song, you’ll understand that!).

One of my favorite places in the world is Silver Bay, NY. I’ve had the privilege to travel there for gatherings of folks doing Christian ministry in and through the YMCA. The Silver Bay YMCA is a beautiful, sacred space of peace. Nestled on the shore of Lake George in the Adirondack Mountains, the hiking and scenery are awe-inspiring.

One of the regular highlights of my journeys to Silver Bay is a hike to Jabez Pond (or Jabe’s Pond depending on which sign you read and who you are talking to!). You hike to the top of the mountain and there it is…an incredibly beautiful and clear pond!

The last time I was there, we took the scenic route back to the lodge. This lead us to a point called Sunrise Mountain. We happened to arrive at Sunrise Mountain about the time the sun was beginning to set. Our group posed for pictures and took in the breathtaking view. Caught up in the splendor, I found myself clapping in awe. It was a strange and unexpected reaction.

While our group made our way from Sunrise Mountain back to the lodge, we talked about the beauty of what we just witnessed. At some point, a member of our team said, “You know, if it was that amazing at sunset, imagine what Sunrise Mountain must look like at, you know, sunrise!” Our group made plans to gather at the flagpole near the lodge at 5am in order to give ourselves time to get back to the top of Sunrise Mountain.

It’s amazing how 8-12 hours can drastically change what we see. As the sun began to appear above the mountains, the darkness quickly shifted to light. Colors that were muted at sunset came to life. Things that were unseen at sunset were illuminated by the sunrise.

While we were looking at the same view, the position of the sun revealed different things. The beauty and grandeur of the mountains and lake were the same and yet different. The location of the light greatly impacted our view. As the sun rose, I once again found myself clapping in response. I guess it was my way of saying, “Well done!”

In order to take in the beauty of the sunrise, we had to wait. On our first trip, we arrived at Sunrise Mountain when the sun was behind us.

I believe there are times when we get ahead of the light. When the light is behind us, we might miss some of the beauty hiding in the shadows.

Have you ever found yourself at a point where the sun, the guiding light is behind you? Maybe you need to turn around in order to follow the light? Maybe we just need to wait for the sun to rise?

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness doesn’t extinguish the light. ~ John 1:5