I know you are probably expecting this to be a blog about the Gin Blossom’s “Hey Jealousy”. I’m sorry to disappoint you. No, this is a blog about struggling with feelings of jealousy…

Last night, while reading Shauna Niequist‘s book, Bread & Wine, I found myself being overcome by feelings of jealousy.

The book really is a wonderful read. Lots of keen insight on the beauty of gathering together at the table. Throughout my reading, I’ve been reminded of the numerous memories that involve food, pints, family, and friends. Throughout most of the book, I’ve fallen somewhere between nostalgic and inspired to create new memories around the table.

However, last night I was hit right between the eyes with an overwhelming sense of jealousy.

Niequist’s life stories involve world travel, growing up splitting time between the wealthy Chicago suburb’s where her father’s humongous church is located and spending summer’s “at the lake” in Southwest Michigan. Last night, as I was reading about having to reschedule trips to Rome and settle for time in a fancy hotel in Chicago, I found myself thinking, “Man, I wish I had those problems.”

Now, there is so much more to the story…but this is how I found myself feeling. Jealous.

You see, I like to whine and complain about what I don’t have…for example: a lot of money, a Harley Davidson, a Taylor 812ce, a Rickenbacker 360, a cabin in the woods, you get the picture.

And, while I’m busy whining and complaining, I fail to celebrate what I do have…for example: a beautiful, kind, caring, intelligent, and healthy wife, two amazing and healthy children, an incredible family, awesome friends, a great “job”, a wonderful church, easy access to People’s Brewing Company!

So, last night, I found myself jealous as I read about world travel, celebrations in South Haven, and gatherings with Christian “celebrities” like Shane Claiborne. Therefore, I felt justified in my jealousy…

Until I looked out the window and watched the sun slowly setting just behind the tree line at the back of my neighborhood. And, I found myself being thankful…for my wife and kids, for my extended family, for my friends, for my church, for the delicious pint of People’s Space Cowboy, for Shauna Niequist’s book that’s reminding me to create memories around the table, for shelter, for food, for transportation, for all the things I so easily take for granted.

And, as I continued to read, I came across stories of pain, suffering, and struggle. While Niequist may have enjoyed a certain amount of privilege, she has not been free from loss, from hurt, from doubt.

I was reminded that, while I may not have it “as good as some people”, I’ve got it a lot better than most. In many ways, I grew up a child of privilege. I never really “wanted for” anything (which is probably why I struggle so much when I don’t get what I want…like a Harley, a Taylor, a Rickenbaker, a cabin in the woods). My parents did their best to provide for our family.

So, now, when I’m overcome with a sense of jealousy, I’ll remind myself that no one has a perfect life. I’ll remind myself of and give thanks for what I do have…which is more than I need or deserve…because I’ve found that when I pause to reflect on what I have, those feelings of jealousy seem to quickly fade.

And, because some of you are disappointed that this was not a blog about the Gin Blossom’s, well…here you go:

This post is from the archives. It seems relevant due to a recent experience at a conference.

 Several years ago, a member of a church I worked at came to me before a worship service and said, “Man, I will increase my giving if you can make sure the Trustee’s will buy softer toilet paper. That stuff in there is like sandpaper!”

It should be noted, this member was very active in the life of the church through the giving of his time, his treasures, and his talents. It should also be noted, he was being completely serious.

Toilet paper is no laughing matter. I happen to be a toilet paper snob. I prefer a certain brand…and a certain sub-category of that certain brand. And, if people try to buy a different brand or a different line within the same brand…well, I get very indignant. I make statements like, “you know I like _____. Why would you buy _____? Just buy the stuff I like! Are you trying to kill me?” Unfortunately, I am not exaggerating. Pray for Emily…she has to put up with a lot!

So, when this individual came to me, I found myself overwhelmed with a sense of compassion and understanding. He was right. That toilet paper was just like sandpaper.

And, in a roundabout manner, it communicated a message.

That message: We don’t care about your comfort in the restroom.

Now, some may say that I am going overboard. But, we have to realize that even the smallest things communicate a message…they have an impact on the overall experience one has when they visit your church or business.

Maybe businesses and places of worship should consider their toilet paper as a hospitality issue. Are you putting out your best? Or are you trying to save a couple of dollars by purchasing individually wrapped rolls that come in boxes of 500 and barely qualify as a paper product suitable for human use?

Last week, I found myself at Reardon Auditorium on the campus of Anderson University. Now this is a place that cost over $33,000 per year for students to attend (includes tuition, room, food service, and the ever important “miscellaneous” fees). At one point, I found myself in the men’s restroom. I was greatly disappointed. I expected more. Sitting in that bathroom, I did not find myself feeling welcomed. I did not find myself thinking, “Wow, this is a place that I want to send my daughters for their college education.” Instead, I was thinking, “I do not think my great-grandmother made a deal with AU for the land that this building is sitting on in order for them to put this kind of sub-quality toilet paper in their restrooms.” I was not overwhelmed by radical hospitality.

Now, I’m not saying that you have to splurge for the toilet paper that has lotion…but it would leave a pretty positive impression.

I’m just saying that we have to think about everything that contributes to the overall experience of our visitors…even the toilet paper. Yes, toilet paper…and the overall condition and smell of a bathroom…could contribute to the radical hospitality that a church or business displays to its visitors. What does the bathroom of your church or business communicate to your visitors?

“Offer hospitality to one another…without grumbling.” ~1Peter 4:9

“Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” ~Hebrews 13:2

“Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” ~Romans 12:13

It’s time to make an embarrassingly honest confession…I love Taco Bell. Not the new cantina or fresco stuff. I love the “real” Taco Bell. You know what I mean by the “real” Taco Bell, right? The stuff the surgeon general warns you about. The things you are only to consume in moderation. Now they’ve even made it better by offering the “XXL” portions. I believe that “XXL” means that’s the size shirt you’ll end up wearing if you consume too many “XXL” items.  Let’s be honest, if you were only meant to eat one or two tacos, why do the sell them in 12-packs? Some might say that the multi-packs are for feeding groups and families. Those people are called…well, it’s not polite to call people names so…Okay…I love Taco Bell. There, I said it…and I’ll say it again: I love Taco Bell! Whew! It feels good to get that off my chest!

This evening, I had a lesson in radical hospitality at Taco Bell.

The line was not very long. However, the wait was ridiculous. I kept wondering if the person in front of me had ordered a “boat load” of tacos. All day long I had a craving for some baja beef chalupas. My mouth was watering. And, the long wait was making me a bit impatient.

When I got to the window, a young woman greeted me with an apology. “We’re extremely sorry for your wait.” My response was, “Oh, no problem. I’m in no hurry.” She then proceeded to take my money and give me my change. Then, the waiting continued. I continued to grow impatient.

She returned to the window with my food. She then said, “Again, I’m so sorry for your wait. Your chalupas are going to be really hot. So, I’d wait before digging into them. Oh, and I went ahead and threw a brownie in there too. It’s just our way of saying sorry.”

I told her she didn’t have to do that. She replied, “Well, we don’t really have a good reason for your wait. We feel bad about making you wait. And, we really hope you’ll come back.”

That’s when I realized I had just witnessed a lesson in radical hospitality. You see, the young woman at Taco Bell didn’t need to do anything beyond her initial apology. In fact, she didn’t even need to apologize. The reality is that my wait wasn’t as long as it seemed. My hunger and longing for a baja beef chalupa made the event seem much more dramatic than it really had been. Yet, she apologized multiple times. Not only did she apologize, she threw in a brownie and added in that she hopes I’ll return.

My first thought was, “Taco Bell has brownies?”

My next thought was, “Wow! That really exceeded my expectations. Of course I’ll be back!”

I experienced high quality customer service in a place I really had not expected it. Customer service is a key to getting customers to return. If your customer service is good, customers are more likely to overlook minor issues and return. If your customer service is poor, the chances of customers returning begins to diminish. I have a list of businesses and churches I will not return to due to their poor customer service (radical hospitality). If you want an example of poor customer service, just ask me about the “Cookie Monster” fiasco at a certain Muncie-based restaurant.

The idea with radical hospitality is that we will go beyond what is expected in welcoming people into our churches and groups. We will know when to say “thank you”, “I’m sorry”, and “I hope you’ll come back.” We will be willing to admit that we don’t always get it right. We will go out of our way to make people feel wanted, valued, respected, and appreciated. We will be authentic and sincere. People will see right through it if we are just “going through the motions” or simply “doing what that book told us to.”

This evening, at Taco Bell, I was reminded of the importance of doing our best to let people know we care, that we are glad they have joined us, and that we hope they’ll come back.

Recently, I saw a magazine cover featuring one of the more conservative “reality” TV stars with “Defending Our Faith” as the headline.

I’ll be honest, when I first saw it, I threw up in my mouth a little. Why? Because I’ve never really understood the whole “defend your faith” thing.

I mean, on a base level I get it. We should always “be prepared to give a reason for the hope you have.”

However, it is my considered opinion that there is a big difference between defending ones faith and simply explaining why you believe a certain way.

When I see headlines reading “defending our faith”, I always make a stereotypical judgment that the person holds beliefs that don’t really mesh well with the way of Jesus and therefore have to go out of their way to justify their particular beliefs. Generally, folks who feel the need to defend their faith do so because of their various “isms” and “phobias”.

I’m convinced that if we are truly following the way of Jesus, you know…loving God, loving neighbor, feeding the hungry, meeting the needs of the least/last/lost/poor among us…a defense of our faith would not be necessary. An explanation? Maybe. But, a defense? Probably not.

Maybe those who feel a need to “defend their faith” have simply lost focus. Maybe instead of focusing on what we stand for as followers of Jesus, they are consumed with what they stand against. Maybe instead of focusing energies on meeting the basic, essential needs of those in our community and world, they are focused on issues that are more political in nature. Maybe instead of realizing that they could be wrong, they are so convinced that they are “right” that they can’t imagine an alternative. Maybe they are unsure of being “right” and so they are aggressive in defending their faith as an attempt to convince themselves. Who knows?

All I know is that I’m more interested in living my faith than having to defend it.

Today’s entry is from Josh Cooper from The Bridge Community Church in Muncie, IN. Josh and I both have roots at Center Chapel United Methodist Church and the Delta High School. Josh began to stray from the path of righteousness when he decided to attend Taylor University. We should forgive him for this indiscretion…After all, he is Facebook friends with Bonzi Wells!

Nod. Smile. (Awkwardly) Say, “You really should… we’d love to have you.”

In fact, some are being sincere when they say this, and fully plan on coming…. they just never get around to it.  So here is some advice. If you really do plan on visiting a church, just show up.  Just stop by and (hopefully) enjoy it, connect with some people, worship God, learn something and then go find your pastor friend and give them a resounding “Great Sermon! You were awesome!”  And if your pastor is anything like me, he will hear that statement, nod, smile, and (awkwardly) say “thank you.”

Josh has been the lead teacher of the Bridge since it’s launch in September, 2006. He served for six years as a youth pastor and three years on staff at Youth for Christ, all in his hometown of Muncie. Josh graduated from Taylor University in 2003 with a degree in Christian Education and Biblical Literature. Josh is married to his beautiful wife Jill and they are the proud parents of two Puggles: Reno and Vegas. In his free time, Josh enjoys most any sport and watching the NFL in unhealthy doses. (borrowed from The Bridge website)