F.P.O.U.

Attention fellow flip phone owners:

Are you tired of the laughter?

Are you tired of the looks of pity from the soccer moms with flashy iPhone’s at the local coffee shop?

Are you tired of “smart” phone users who don’t even know how to make a call, take a picture, or send a text from their lavish phone?

Are you tired of being the punchline of techno-nerd jokes?

Are you tired of being embarrassed to pull your phone out in front of friends and strangers alike?

Well, then let us unite! Let us boldly proclaim our affection for the flip phone (much like Frank in 30 Rock did with this “Flip Phone Owner” trucker hat).

Let us stand against the power and control that “smart” phones and their users have claimed. Let us stand against the desire to play “Angry Birds.” Let us resist the desire to have a phone that has a built-in guitar tuner. Let us resist the desire to have facebook, twitter, pintrest, and other “apps” on our phones. Let us be proud that we essentially only have our phones for emergency contact. Let us take pride in the fact that, with our phones, we have boldly proclaimed that we do not feel obligated to “keep up with the Joneses.” Let us take pride  in knowing that our phones can’t steal our attention away from our loved ones because they simply aren’t that cool and don’t have very many features.

Let us not be ashamed of our phones! Flip Phone Owners Unite!

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