“You sure don’t look like a pastor,” the man said in a deep voice with a southern twang.

The pastor simply replied, “Thank you.”

What the gentlemen certainly intended to be negative criticism was actually received as a compliment.

The man continued, “Well, it’s just that pastors look a certain way, you know?”

The pastor said, “Actually, I’m not sure what you mean?”

The man then attempted to explain what an “appropriate pastor” looks like and how he just couldn’t wrap his head around pastors not wearing a suit and tie. Just imagine how the man must have felt when the pastor introduced him to his colleague, a female pastor!

So, let’s be honest for a moment, there has been an unspoken…wait, I just called for honesty…So, there has been a spoken expectation that pastors “look the part.” While I do understand this has a different meaning in different settings, the generalized assumption in many mainline congregations is that the pastor will wear a suit, tie, fancy (but not expensive) shoes, robe over the suit for the service, clean shave, well-groomed (not long) hair, no tattoos…and, in some circles, male.

As the man finished his list of “how a pastor should look,” the pastor replied, “Well, I’ve always placed more of a value on ‘being’ than ‘looking’ the part. You see, rather than placing a high value on the pastors appearance, I think it’s more important that the pastor possess the fruits of spirit – which oddly enough have nothing to do with how the pastor dresses.”

In reflecting on this conversation, I’m reminded that there are well-meaning church folk who are much more concerned with the appearance than the heart of the pastor. Some reading this may find themselves thinking, “Oh, that can’t be true.”

Well, let me just say, I can testify that I have received more critique on how I dress than I have on my theology, my preaching, or other aspects of the actual “work” of the pastor.

In a previous congregation, one Sunday I had a slip of the tongue when talking about sheep and accidentally said, “sh*t” during the children’s moment! I was trying to say “sheep sit!” My superintendent happened to be visiting that day. He laughed! A few folks commented, “Oh pastor, that just made me feel a lot better. I guess we’re all human.” Not a single negative comment.

A few weeks later, I wore my nicest pair of jeans (which I rarely wear jeans because I hate jeans), a nice shirt that was actually tucked in, and a sport coat. I received three, yes three (only one signed), letters informing me that it was inappropriate for the pastor to wear jeans.

Now, the sad part is, I’m sure those people really thought I would care about their opinions. I’m sure they thought that their letters would convict me and I would get my wardrobe in order. However, my inner-rebel-spirit would not allow that. The next week featured jeans, an untucked shirt and a sport coat. The week after that featured jeans, an untucked shirt, and get this…no sport coat!

Surprisingly enough, the walls of the church did not fall down. The Spirit still moved. The Word was still proclaimed.

I’m one of those pastors who leads with the “what you see is what you get” approach. I’m not going to be (or dress like) someone I am not. My parents taught me to be confident in who I am. So, I guess if you don’t like my fashion style, you can blame Bob and Jan!

I was always taught that if you received a piece of clothing or shoes from your grandma, mom, wife or kids that it automatically qualified as “church clothes.” Again, if you don’t like my style, blame the people who buy my shirts and shoes!

I guess what I’m trying to get at is this…if the pastors fashion is controversial, it just might indicate that we have lost sight of what is truly important. Seriously, this just might help reveal why those outside the church are less interested with each passing day in what the Church has to offer.

Maybe we can focus on those things that truly matter?