It was a Friday night about 14 years ago.

I was leading the wedding rehearsal for a young couple at the church I was serving. I was wearing my typical rehearsal attire: khaki’s, polo, my favorite Doc Martens. For those who know me, this qualifies as “dressed up!” I mean, the polo was even tucked in!

As the bridal party was gathering, the father of the bride introduced himself and started asking some questions: “Where’s the altar? Where’s the kneeling rail? Where do people get saved?”

Based on his line of questioning, I had a pretty good idea of the type of church this gentleman attended. We had a nice conversation about worship styles and ministry approaches. It seemed like the conversation was coming to a close when we both agreed that keeping Jesus as the focus is what’s most important.

Then he made a statement that was more puzzling than anything else. “You don’t look like a pastor.”

I implied that I’d rather “live and be” like a pastor than just keep up the appearance of a pastor and then asked, “So, what exactly does that mean?”

He replied, “Oh, you know…suit and tie, clean shaven, slick backed hair, that kind of stuff.”

Now, to be fair, my hair was in a bit of a wild state as I was in the middle of a wager to grow my hair out like chef Hubert Keller.

I’ve always embraced an attitude of, “this is who I am, so this is what you’ll get” when it comes to my pastoral “style.” Whether it’s my attire, my use of humor/sarcasm, my early onset grumpiness, my proclamation that I have one suit and I only wear it for weddings, funerals, and to ask for large sums of money, or my desire to help us not take ourselves too seriously, I really just don’t care that much what others think.

While I believe we should take care of ourselves so that we are healthy enough to serve, I’m not sure God truly desires that we place too much pride in our appearance. In fact, 1 Samuel 16:7 pretty much confirms my assumption, “…Humans see only what is visible to the eyes, but the Lord sees into the heart.”

And, most church-going Christians will agree, “it’s the heart that matters most.” But, far too many are still convinced that we need to come in our “Sunday best.”

I remember hearing a colleague share about a member who pulled him aside to announce his disappointment in one of the younger members church attire. The person announced that he felt it was disrepectful to wear jeans, a t-shirt and sneakers to a worship service. “That’s no way to honor God,” the man stated.

My friend replied, “Well, I’m not sure if you are aware of this, but that person is wearing $500 designer jeans, $1,200 sneakers, and is one of our most faithful and generous members. And, he shows up early every Sunday to lead our high school Bible study.” Now, I’m not sure he should have talked about the persons generosity…but I know he was just trying to humble (and shut up) the grumpy member.

Some have suggested that we dress in a way that reflects our context. Well, the most direct neighbors to our church would probably be the people sleeping in our alley or across the street at the mission. Wearing a suit and tie just might feel a bit out of touch. Down the street is the “business sector.” 15 years ago, the suit and tie would have been more prevalent, but today even the business sector has become more casual. If I see someone in a suit and tie, I assume they are on their way to court!

I mean, the largest and fastest growing churches in my local context are some of the most casual, informal churches I’ve ever visited. Some of the pastors and worship leaders in these congregations look like they just got out of their pontoon or were in the background of a Justin Bieber video. I mean, my only question is why are Dahmer glasses (wire-rimmed, double-bridged, aviator-style frames) so popular among evangelical megachurch pastors?

Maybe it isn’t about attire after all?

I mean, just exactly who are we trying to impress? God or our neighbor? I don’t think anyone could convince me that those who “dress up” score more points with God than those who don’t.

It’s not about being hip and cool…it’s not about our Sunday best…it’s about being ourselves – being who God created us to be.

So, whether you are a suit and tie, dress and hat, jeans and t-shirt, formal, informal or business casual type person, just be yourself! I’m conviced that God prefers that we all “be” the part than “look” the part.