This message was shared at Centerville UMC in Centerville, IN on Sunday, July 5, 2015. The Scripture reading was Matthew 6:25-34. 

This morning, we heard a powerful passage of Scripture from the Gospel of Matthew that focuses on not worrying, but trusting God. The passage indicates that we need to trust God to provide for our needs.

In 1969, the Rolling Stones released the album “Let it Bleed”, which featured the song “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” Last night, the Stones performed at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. If you have seen any of the footage from last night’s concert, well, it looked amazing. I’ll be honest and admit that last night and this morning I have been filled with jealousy as my friends and the news have shared pictures and highlights. So, it seems fitting that to help us set the stage for this morning’s message, we listen to that song.

It’s my considered opinion that the chorus of this song fits extremely well with Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 6. “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometime you find you get what you need!” My favorite part of that video is watching and listening to Keith Richards and Ronnie Wood trade guitar licks! It’s just an amazing bit of rock and roll there!

So, the Stones tell us, “You can’t always get what you want.” However, we live in a materialistic, selfish, and individualistic world that tells us, not only that we can always get what we want…we should always get what we want! We are taught to look out for number one. We are told to do whatever it takes to succeed. Advertisers attempt to convince us that we need unnecessary items in order to receive inner peace and happiness. We are told that our joy will be complete if we just have a newer, nicer, bigger, better, faster, and stronger whatever! Of course, it’s not just the world of advertising that tries to convince us that we need newer, nicer, bigger, better, faster, stronger…

Many prosperity gospel preachers will tell you, if you want something, God wants you to have that something – in other words, the desire for “whatever” was placed on your heart by God – so, you should do whatever it takes to get it. If you want a beach house in Hawaii, God wants you to have a beach house in Hawaii. Therefore, you need to order your life in a way that you can get that beach house in Hawaii…by any means necessary. It may mean you have to see your family less and work more…but God really wants you to have it. Now, is the beach house in Hawaii a want or a need?

The problem is that we often confuse our wants and needs

Of course, it’s not just about beach houses in Hawaii, it’s also about the tag on our shirt, the emblem on our car, the place we buy our coffee, our phone plan, our cable package, our Amazon wish list, our QVC statement, and so on.

Wesley encouraged his followers to “earn all you can, save all you can, give all you can.” He would later comment that we are really good at earning all we can and saving all we can, but really lousy at giving all we can. Why? Because we worry that, somewhere down the road, we might need a little extra. So, rather than faithfully give, we store up treasures on earth for a rainy day that might not come.

Or in another extreme, we overspend on unnecessary items and “felt-needs”. Felt-needs are really just luxuries that we have convinced ourselves we really need. For example, when I need new shoes, I could go to Kmart and spend less than $25 on a suitable pair of shoes that meet my needs. However, I’ve convinced myself that my shoes need to say “Dr. Martens” or “Adidas” or “Nike” or “Brooks” in order to provide the best fit, feel, and to reduce back, foot, and joint pain.

Wesley said, “When I die if I leave behind me ten pounds … you and all mankind may bear witness against me, that I have lived and died a thief and a robber.” It has been said that Wesley became financially successful due to his fellowship at Lincoln College, publishing of his writings and sermons, and other endeavors. However, he was committed to surviving on less in order to give more. He set a living wage for himself and whenever his salary increased, he kept the same living wage and gave away more. I wonder, how many of us would be willing live that way?

And, so, in Matthew 6:25-34, Jesus tells us not to worry. If God gave us life, then we should be able to trust him for the things which are necessary to support life. Look at the birds, though they work hard, they don’t worry about the future, they aren’t seeking to find security by hoarding and accumulating wealth and possessions. Look at the flowers, though they are beautiful, they don’t worry because God provides. If he cares this much about the birds and the flowers, don’t you think he’ll care for you? So, in other words, stop with the worrying.

Jesus lays it out there that worry is, simply put, distrust of God. Jesus is saying that, as Christians, we should not worry because we believe in the love of God- a love that promises to take care of us.

Yet, how many of us would be willing to admit that, in spite of Jesus’ words, we still worry? And, what do we worry about? Everything! Money, food, clothes, housing, jobs, health, family, and more! When we finally get that newer, nicer, bigger, better, faster, and stronger we end up worrying about it. We get new carpet, but we don’t let anyone walk on it or take food and drinks in the room because of all the “what if’s?”

Pursuing the newer, nicer, bigger, better, faster and stronger isn’t just about keeping up with the Joneses. Sometimes it’s about an attempt to fill voids…to find fulfillment…to achieve happiness and inner-peace. And, it all ends up leading to worry!

Our worry is really a symptom of fear. Our worry leads us to accepting what is safe and predictable, rather than God-sized visions of what could be! When we fail to trust God to provide our needs, we are tempted to cave into a fear of the unknown…and it often holds us back.

Our worry truly is a symptom of our lack of trust in God. When we worry, we’re failing to trust the words of Jesus that God will do what he says he will do! Do we really believe that God will provide for our needs?

So, Jesus gives a plan for overcoming worry by seeking first (concentrating on) the Kingdom of God. William Barclay wrote that, “It was Jesus’ conviction that worry is banished when God becomes the dominating power of our lives.”

Worry can be defeated when we “acquire the art of living one day at a time”. Today has enough worry of its own, stop worrying about tomorrow. Stop living in the hypothetical “what if” world and be present today.

In many ways, our worry is a bi-product of attempting to satisfy our needs on our own, rather than trusting God to do what Jesus and the Scriptures say God will do.

Paul wrote in Philippians 4:19 that “My God will meet your every need out of his riches in glory that is found in Christ Jesus.” Again, do we truly believe that God will provide?

Jesus instructs us to stop worrying, to stop taking matters into our own hands, and to trust God.

The Rolling Stones remind us that “You can’t always get what you want but if you try sometime you find you get what you need.”

“You can’t always get what you want”, but, in Jesus we will get what we need!

This morning, while working on Sunday’s sermon about needs, selfish desires, and worry, I found myself thinking about the fear of failure…and the fear of success.

Due to my career in ministry, most of my thoughts center on the church. However, I’m pretty sure the fear of failure and fear of success appears in any field.

So, churches often have a desire to grow. Most churches don’t get together and say, “How can we kill this thing?” I say “most churches” because, by their actions & maybe some strategy (some things have to die before they can grow), some churches seem to want to figure out how to die. But, for the most part, churches have a desire to grow.

Churches often, in an effort to grow, desire to pursue excellence. We desire to have excellent hospitality, music, preaching, mission opportunities, generational ministries, facilities, and so on. Most churches don’t get together and say, “How can we be mediocre and maintain the status quo?” I say “most churches” because by their actions, some churches seem to be champions of the status quo! However, for the most part, churches have a desire to improve and seek excellence in all they do.

Churches often have a desire to reach out to the marginalized people in our communities. Most churches don’t get together and say, “How can we ignore entire groups of people in our community?” I say “most churches” because by their actions, some churches seem to have a desire to build tall walls around their properties in order to keep “those people” out. However for the most part, churches have a desire to reach out and share love with all people.

So, we desire growth. We desire excellence. We desire to reach out to all people.

However, we are afraid to fail.

So, out of fear, we fail to embrace the vision, to experiment, and we stay stagnated.

Out of fear, we accept things as they are, rather than as they could be. We accept “the known”, whether it’s working or not, because of our fear of “the unknown”.

Part of our corporate faith is transforming together into the church and people God desires us to be. This transformation requires that we overcome our fear of failure. This transformation requires that we accept and embrace change…not simply for the sake of change, but for the purpose of growth, excellence, and expanded outreach to the marginalized folks in our communities. This transformation requires a radical commitment to the vision.

The fear of failure is not the only factor that holds churches back. Sometimes what gets in the way of our pursuit of transformation is the fear of success. There are plenty of unknowns with success. If we are successful in growing, pursuing excellence, and reaching out to marginalized folks, the landscape of our churches might change drastically.

Sometimes it looks like this: We desire to change. We pursue God’s vision. We give permission for the church leaders to experiment and try new things. We gain insight as we reflect, adjust, and attempt to improve. We confirm the vision and direction. We experience synergy and being to grow, to provide excellence, we reach the marginalized in our community. Hot-diggity-dog! By golly, we’ve done it!

However, at this point, we run the risk of caving into our fears.

As soon as one little thing doesn’t go as planned, we cave into disillusionment. We are easily tricked by illusion in the midst of a failure. Yes, things are growing. But, they are also changing. And, this last project didn’t produce the results. So, rather than reflecting, adjusting, and trying again, we think, “if we could just go back to Egypt”…”if we could just return to the good old days”…”but, we’ve always done it this way”…”we’ve tried that before”. Rather than learning from our failures, we throw in the towel and go back to “they way we’ve always done things”.

Therefore, we begin to panic! We realize that things aren’t going the way we think they should. We forget that it’s okay to not be okay. We forget that with granting permission succeed, we have to be willing to give permission to fail.

Change and transformation is difficult work. So, we begin to experience exhaustion. We’re working hard and getting worn out. At this point, it’s easy to throw in the towel.

When we are on the road to transformation, if we cave into our fears…if we allow disillusionment to distract us…if we allow panic to distract us…if we allow exhaustion to distract us…stagnation is the result.

Stagnation indicates that, in the midst of our transformation, we lost sight of the vision. Fear, whether of failure or success, is one of the major roadblocks of vision-guided transformation. When fear rears its ugly head, we can get side-tracked from the vision and begin to once again believe that it’s not about the vision, it’s all about me…my wants…my needs…

The great tragedy in all of this is that, when we get distracted…when we allow our fears to overcome us…when we aren’t attempting to pursue the vision, we’ll end up right where we started or even worse.

This message was shared at Centerville United Methodist Church in Centerville, IN on Sunday, June 28, 2015.

This has been a whirlwind week in our nation! We saw the decisions from the Supreme Court affirming the Affordable Care Act- signifying that all people should have access to health care…which, by the way, is something strongly advocated for by the United Methodist Church. Then, the Supreme Court made a vote on marriage equality. Bishop Coyner wrote an article this week in response to this ruling saying that United Methodist should be advocates of fairness for all.

While I know some of you are upset by the ruling, I’ll remind you that the Supreme Court ruling does not mandate or require churches or pastors to perform any weddings.

Then, on Friday, President Obama delivered a powerful eulogy for Reverend Clementa Pinckney focused on grace at all times.

We may not agree with the Supreme Court rulings. We may not “like” President Obama. However, as Christians, we are called to set aside our political agendas and respond with love and grace. John Wesley, founding father of the Methodist movement, encouraged us to do no harm. Let me ask, are we doing no harm as individuals and the Church in regard to our LGBT sisters and brothers? Are we extending love and grace in our words, actions and Facebook posts? We all need to remember, we can see what others post and like on Facebook. I’m afraid that a lot of what I’ve seen from my Christian brothers and sisters this week has been laced with judgment and hate, rather than love and grace.

In the midst of this environment, I’ve been working on a sermon for our “Love is a Mix Tape” series focusing on doubt, questions, love and grace. Here in our midst, we have people on different sides of the affordable care debate, we have people on different sides of the marriage debate, we have people on different sides of the political debates and some are probably upset that I’ve mentioned President Obama; we have people on different sides of the Jesus debate. For some of us, we question the faith of those who have a different point of view on these issues (how can she be a Christian and believe that?). It seems appropriate that, this Wednesday at 10am in our “Making Sense of the Bible” study, we’ll be talking about issues of human sexuality.

So, in the midst of this environment, we have with us this morning some gathered who are firmly grounded in their faith. This morning, there are some who are searching and seeking, doubting and questioning, struggling or have thrown in the towel on faith. Some of us don’t really know if we believe.

If we are human, there are times we will experience doubts, there are times we will have questions. In some Christian circles, doubts and questions are discouraged and seen as a threat. Me, I think doubts and questions can be great tools…in fact, they could be vessels of grace and mercy. This is called faith, not absolute certainty.

When I was serving as a youth pastor, I used to love entertaining questions from students: Could God make a burrito so BIG even He couldn’t finish it? Could God make a rock so HEAVY that even He couldn’t lift it? They weren’t serious questions. Yet, they ushered in conversations about the nature of God.

The band Mumford and Sons, have a song on their latest album called “Believe”. The lyrics say, ‘I don’t even know if I believe anything you’re trying to say to me. So open up my eyes, tell me I’m alive.” This morning, wherever we are on our journey of faith, whether we are firmly grounded and “standing on the promises” or whether we are doubting the state of our salvation or question our faith, maybe our prayer should be that God would open up our eyes and remind us that we are alive!

Doubts and questions are not the enemy of faith. Doubts and questions can actually lead to a deeper faith. Again, maybe in the midst of our questions and doubts, we should pray, asking God to open our eyes.

Christian author Philip Yancey wrote that, “Inquisitiveness and questioning are inevitable parts of the life of faith.  Where there is certainty there is no room for faith.  I encourage people not to doubt alone, rather to find some people who are safe “doubt companions,” and also to doubt their doubts as much as their faith.  But it doesn’t help simply to deny doubts or to feel guilty about them.  Many people, after all, have been down that path before and have emerged with a strong faith.”

When it comes to our faith, we tend to doubt in three general ways: We doubt ourselves, we doubt others, and we doubt God.

We doubt ourselves and our salvation- We look in the mirror and see ourselves as we are and so we wonder “am I really saved? Am I really a Christian? How can it be? I am a horrible wretched sinner – yet God extends grace and love. Is my faith real? I thought I was saved, but I’m not perfect? So, was my profession of faith a lie? Was my salvation just self-deception?” We’re not alone in this…John Wesley, in light of his humanity, would question the state of his salvation. He, like we sometimes are prone to, struggled with and worried about the state of his salvation. Yet, in the midst of our doubt, God extends grace and love.

We doubt others and their salvation- We look at other “Christians” and because of their politics, because of their lifestyle, because of their education or socio-economic class we wonder if they are really Christian. Or we question their stories. We question and doubt their experience of God. If they don’t worship like us, if they don’t believe like us, if they don’t vote like us, then they aren’t truly Christian. We doubt entire congregations and denominations because of differences of theology, politics, and opinions. I’m guilty of this- I look at statements from Franklin Graham and John Piper and Pat Robertson and say, “Those nut-jobs don’t speak for me!” That’s not love and grace, is it? We doubt and question others when we, as Christians, say, “I love God, but that person is scum. What that really says is we are the ones in danger of not being Christian because, as Jesus would challenge the religious folks of his day, you can’t love God and hate your neighbor. Yet, in the midst of our doubt, God extends grace and love.

We doubt God- One of the most common questions we have is “why God”? “Why did God allow this to happen? Why is God punishing me? Why did my co-worker get the promotion and I got a flat tire?” Or, in those times of doubt we’ll question whether or not God took his grace away. We’ll question the process of salvation- “so, God just gifts us with love and grace and my response is to accept it? I don’t have to earn it?” Yet, in the midst of our doubt, God extends grace and love.

The good news is that this is not the end of the journey. Doubts, questions, and uncertainty are not the end of the story.  God’s love and grace is always being offered to us…if we need assurance, God will give it to us…We just have to pay attention, to listen for God, to look for God, and when it comes, respond to God.

Our salvation is an ongoing process- it’s not a pray a prayer and we’re done- we are continually offered love and grace and given opportunities to respond to love and grace by loving God and loving neighbor. In response to God’s love and grace, we are to extend love and grace – to become vehicles of God’s love and grace.

And, yet, even when we find that blessed assurance, we sometimes doubt and question. Don’t worry…we are not alone. John the Baptist had moments of doubt and questions, as we heard in the passage from Matthew 11:1-7. This is the dude that baptized Jesus and told others, “Here’s the one you’ve been waiting for”, due to life’s circumstances began to wonder, “So, are you really the one?”

Mark 9:14-24– “Yes, I believe…help me with my unbelief.” He was desperate to believe. He was convinced he believed. And, yet, he was aware of the struggle. This passage is often used to support the “believe and receive”, prosperity Gospel of –” if you just have enough faith, God will bless you”. Listen, sometimes we believe and we don’t receive according to our expectations. The danger in this proclamation of “believe and receive” is that we are prone to doubt or reject our faith when we don’t receive.

When we waiver, when we struggle with certainty, we’re not alone…John the Baptist…the man who said I believe, but still could feel a bit of doubt (help me with my unbelief)…Wesley…We’re not alone in our uncertainty, our doubt, our questions.

We may question, doubt, or refuse it- but God never stops extending love and grace to us. Then, where love and grace is offered, we have to respond…we respond by growing in holiness…by loving God in a way that manifests itself in loving neighbor.

We should concern ourselves with striving towards perfection – even in doubt- because the act of striving towards Christian perfection (“are you going onto perfection”) – is transforming. Striving towards perfection, as a response to God’s constant offering of love and grace, can transform our doubts and questions.

President Obama spoke about God’s continual offering of grace and our need to respond to that grace during his eulogy for Reverend Clementa Pinckney – “The Bible calls us to hope. To persevere, and have faith in things not seen”

In speaking about Pinckney he stated, “He embodied the idea that our Christian faith demands deeds and not just words; that the ‘sweet hour of prayer’ actually lasts the whole week long – that to put our faith in action is more than individual salvation; it’s about our collective salvation; that to feed the hungry and clothe the naked and house the homeless is not just a call for isolated charity but the imperative of a just society.”

On his reflections on grace, Our President Obama said, “According to our Christian tradition, grace is not earned. Grace is not merited. It’s not something we deserve. Rather, grace is the free and benevolent favor of God – as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings. God has visited grace upon us, for he has allowed us to see where we’ve been blind. He has given us the chance, where we’ve been lost, to find our best selves. We may not have earned it, this grace, with our rancor and complacency, and short-sightedness and fear of each other – but we got it all the same. He gave it to us anyway. He’s once more given us grace. But it is up to us to make the most of it, to receive it with gratitude, and to prove ourselves worthy of this gift. We don’t earn grace. We’re all sinners. We don’t deserve it. But God gives it to us anyway. And we choose how to receive it. It’s our decision how to honor it.”

Doubt and questions are not the enemy of faith. Fear might be an enemy. Rejecting God’s love and grace might be an enemy. Failing to respond to God’s love and grace might be an enemy.

President Obama, much like John Wesley and Jesus and Peter and Paul, urges us to respond to God’s grace. God is continually offering us love and grace. When we encounter doubt and questions, the best way to respond is to accept God’s love and grace and strive towards holiness, to strive towards perfection – that in our pursuit of holiness we will encounter God, that we will receive that blessed assurance, and learn to live lives of faith where we truly love God and love our neighbor.

In the midst of faith, in the midst of doubt, in the midst of rejection, God continually offers His love and grace. We should respond to that love and grace by accepting that love and grace, and then extending that love and grace to all.

At Centerville United Methodist Church, we are launching our summer worship series, “Love is a Mix Tape”. The idea for the series came from a book by Rob Sheffield, who is a contributing editor of Rolling Stone magazine.

How many of you are old enough (or young enough) to remember the mix tape? In the 80’s and early 90’s, if a boy wanted to express his feelings for a young lady, he would attempt to craft the perfect mix tape. One of my favorite movies, “High Fidelity”, shows the pain-staking process of piecing together the perfect mix tape. You couldn’t just start off with Lenny Williams “Cause I Love You”. You had to ease into it!

For you young folks, the mix tape is like sharing a playlist. Basically, you decide the message you want to convey and find songs to communicate that message. Now, sometimes the mix tape was used to express ones love. Yet, there were instances in which the mix tape was used to let you know the relationship was over. No one ever wants to receive a mix tape where the first song is War’s “Why Can’t We Be Friends” or Roxette’s “It Must Have Been Love”.

Throughout our “Love is a Mix Tape” series, we’ll be using Scripture and music to help set the stage for sermons on worship, doubt, unity, forgiveness, and more. We’ll use rock, folk, and country songs. This morning, we’ll be exploring the topic of worship. And, to launch our message on worship, we’ll hear Bob Marley’s “One Love”.

But, before the video, I have some quick business to take care of. Today is Father’s Day! So, that means that father’s get to do whatever they want to do, right? Therefore, in the spirit of Father’s Day, give me just one second…In fact, why don’t you watch this video while I get some things together. (While the video is playing, I will exit the sanctuary, change into shorts, sandals, grab a lawn chair and can of Ale8-1 in order to get more comfortable because, after all, it is Father’s Day)

Now, that’s better and feels more appropriate for Father’s Day! While Bob Marley was a Rastafarian, this song really gets to the essence of worship.

“One love, one heart, let’s get together and feel all right”

“Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right”

Part of worship is getting together to give thanks and praise to the Lord. Often times, a bi-product of our worship together is that we will “feel all right”. When we give thanks and praise to God, we experience peace, comfort, joy, rest, and assurance.

In the Church, we often talk about “passionate worship”. One understanding of passionate worship is that everything we say, think and do has the potential to be an act of worship. That also indicates that every  we say, think and do has the potential to not be an act of worship. So, that means we have two choices when it comes to everything we say, think, and do: sin or worship.

Worship is about ascribing worth to something. In the case of Christian worship, we ascribe worth to God. When we work, eat, drink, sleep, and play in a way that bring God glory and honor, we worship. When we work, eat, drink, sleep and play in a way that dishonors God, we sin. It really can be that black and white. We either sin or we worship. In many ways, whether we sin or worship comes down to our heart and our attitude.

Worship is so much more than our hour long gathering on Sunday mornings. Our worship isn’t just the corporate gathering, but also our private and personal worship in our daily lives. But, just for a minute, let’s talk about the hour long gathering on Sunday mornings.

Some believe that in order for our worship to be pleasing to the Lord, it has to be perfectly reverent and serious. Laughter is often frowned upon. We believe the pastor needs to wear a robe and stole or at least a suit and tie. The congregation needs to be well dressed and the children need to be well behaved. Listen, I believe part of the reason I’m still in the church is due to the fact that when I was a kid, I was allowed to be a kid. I was the one crawling under the pews, playing with his Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant action figures during the sermon, and skateboarding in the parking lot (or fellowship hall if it was raining or snowy. So, if these reverent and serious expectations aren’t met, it certainly isn’t worship. Therefore, folks with this expectation are often disappointed when “this guy” is around.

Some believe that we have to sing certain songs or it really isn’t worship. If we don’t sing a particular song, our worship just doesn’t hit the mark. (examples from churches and camp) Or if our songs don’t fit a particular style of music it certainly can’t be worship.

Some believe that the prayers in worship should be eloquent, wordy, and lengthy in order for our worship to be pleasing to God.

Some believe that worship has to be in the sanctuary, on a particular day, and a particular time in order for it to be true worship.

We could go on and on about what folks believe has to take place in order for our worship to truly be worship. Some of our differences of opinion on worship help explain the existence of the plethora of denominations around the world. Yet, all of these things are really just personal preferences.

Worship is more about our hearts and minds connecting with God than whether or not we sing a certain song, in a certain style, in a certain location, at a certain time, with a certain dress code. I’m pretty sure God doesn’t really care about our personal preferences. God might actually want us to try some new and different things in order to stretch us, grow us, and challenge us. If we’re simply doing the same routine we’ve been doing for years, we probably are just stuck!

For a number of years, we’ve experienced “worship wars” in the Christian church…people arguing about the style of music. And, get this, people have divided churches and driven out leaders because of musical preferences. Some believe one style to be superior to another. One side will say, if there isn’t an organ it isn’t worship. The other side will say, if there isn’t a band, it isn’t worship. One side will say the words of certain songs are empty and childish. The other side will say that the words of hymns are complicated and no one really understands them anyway (what’s an Ebenezer anyway and why would we raise it?) It’s really ridiculous the lengths we’ll go to in order to hold onto our personal preferences. (Elkhart Trinity- drums/organ/new drums story). God doesn’t care if we’re singing Charles Wesley, Chris Tomlin, Johnny Cash or Bob Marley, as long as our hearts and minds are connecting with Him!

We can experience powerful moments of worship in extremely formal, traditional settings.

We can experience powerful moments of worship in extremely informal, contemporary settings.

We can experience powerful moments of worship in the car, in the office, on the beach, in the middle of the mountains, wherever we find ourselves. And, we shouldn’t discredit the ways others worship, but be thankful they have found a way to connect with God.

But, back to that one hour on Sunday that we refer to as corporate worship. Sometimes we reduce our concept of worship to the singing portion of our gathering. When we join together we should sing with joy and passion as we truly think about the meaning of the words we sing. If we took a picture of congregations across the US during the singing portion of a church gathering, people would probably make the generalization that Christians are joy-less and grumpy! 

I’ll be honest…one of the most difficult roles of a pastor is to sit in front of the congregation as we sing together and keep a straight face. It’s hilarious to sit and front and watch congregations sing. We’ll sing songs like “I’m so glad I’m a part of the family of God” with a frown on our faces, then we’ll sing a song about the brutal death of Jesus with a big smile!

John Wesley, founding father of the Methodist movement, gave some rules for singing: (in hymnal)

• Sing all. See that you join with the congregation as frequently as you can. Let not a slight degree of weakness or weariness hinder you. If it is a cross to you, take it up and you will find a blessing.
• Sing lustily, and with a good courage. Beware of singing as if you were half dead, or half asleep; but lift up your voice with strength. Be no more afraid of your voice now, nor more ashamed of it being heard, then when you sing the songs of Satan.
• Sing modestly. Do not bawl, as to be heard above, or distinct from, the rest of the congregation, that you may not destroy the harmony; but strive to unite your voices together, so as to make one clear melodious sound.
• Sing in time. Whatever time is sung, be sure to keep with it. Do not run before, not stay behind it; but attend closely to the leading voices, and move therewith as exactly as you can. And take care you sing not too slow. This drawling way naturally steals on all who are lazy; and it is high time to drive it out from among us, and sing all our tunes just as quick as we did at first.
• Above all, sing spiritually. Have an eye to God in every word you sing. Aim at pleasing Him more than yourself, or any other creature. In order to do this, attend strictly to the sense of what you sing, and see that your heart is not carried away with the sound, but offered to God continually; so shall your singing be such as the Lord will approve of here, and reward when he cometh in the clouds of heaven.

Worship is about honoring and praising God in all we say, think, and do. It’s not the songs we sing. It’s not that one hour on Sunday morning. It’s everything we say, think, and do.

Col. 3:15-17 

Can we find joy in all we do? Can we find ways to honor and praise God in all we say, think and do? As Christians, we should be known for our joy, our hope (even in times of trouble), and our love. That’s worship! Worship is all about our One Love, Jesus Christ, so, let’s get together and feel alright!

This message was shared at Centerville UMC on Sunday, May 31, 2015. John 3:1-17 served as the morning’s Scripture.

Can anyone say that they have lived a life free of conflict? How many of us would love to be able to say that we have lived a life free of conflict? How many of us can say that, while conflict can be difficult, we have grown, matured, and learned as a result of conflict?

The reality is that we all face conflict in some manner. Now, if everyone would just learn to agree with me, we could avoid so much conflict!

We encounter conflict in our homes, within our families and circle of friends, in our workplaces, schools, and even in the church. It seems that just about anywhere people are gathered, there will be conflict.  How we handle conflict has a major impact on our Christian witness.

Where does conflict come from? There are times that conflict stems from some kind of injustice. We see people being treated unfairly and we decide we can no longer stay silent. So, we speak up and there is conflict.

Sometimes conflict stems from having unrealistic expectations. Maybe we set the bar too high and are disappointed when those around us don’t hit the bar. So, conflict comes from disappointment because our expectations (whether realistic or not) were not met.

Sometimes conflict is birthed out of fear. It’s my considered opinion that most conflict grows out of jealousy, envy, bitterness, selfishness, pride, ego, misunderstanding, and judgmental attitudes. James 4:1 would tell us that conflict comes from the selfish desires that are at war within us.

I’m convinced that, at times, we Christians believe it’s our job to judge and condemn. Here, in John 3, Jesus makes it clear that he came to save, not condemn. We, as individuals and as the church, are called to follow Jesus’ example. That means, we are called to save, not condemn. We are called to be His agents of salvation, His agents of hope. Yet, too often, we’re more consumed with the business of judging and condemning others than the loving and saving business. If we are going to be honest with ourselves, we would be willing to admit, that at times, this rings true.

Some of the most loving, kind, caring, compassionate, joyful, peace-filled people I’ve ever met are church folk. Yet, at the same time, some of the grumpiest, most mean-spirited, gossipy, judgmental, combative and downright hateful folks I’ve met are church folk too. Why is that? Human nature? Maybe? But, it might be because we really don’t take Jesus and the Bible seriously.

It’s easy to get caught up in gossip, slander, spreading half-truth and lies. It’s easy to get caught up judging and condemning others because it’s easier to judge and condemn than to offer the saving grace and love of Jesus. Maybe the source of conflict between churched and unchurched folks is that we are more prone to judge and condemn than offer hope and love. At the very least, we have to admit that we are known more outside the church for our judgmental attitudes and hypocritical actions. Too often, we Christians are known more for what we stand against than what we stand for.

So, we often attempt to justify our judging, condemning, gossip, slander, half-truths and lies about others by saying, “Well, I’m just trying to hold so-and-so accountable.”

Listen, there is a huge difference between accountability and judging, condemning, gossip, slander, half-truths and lies. One is motivated by love and sincere concern. The other is motivated by selfishness and pride. We judge, condemn, gossip, and slander others in an attempt to make ourselves feel better or superior to the other. And, when we are judging, condemning, gossiping, slandering, spreading half-truths and lies we are avoiding the very person we are talking about. If we’re holding so-and-so accountable, we would actually go to “so-and-so” instead of everyone else! There are times that, when we finally go to “so-and-so” we’ve done so much damage, reconciliation will be much more difficult.

Our tendency to judge and condemn rather than offer love, grace and mercy might indicate that, as followers of Jesus, we don’t really take the Bible seriously. We like the Bible. We pick and choose the parts we want to follow. But, we don’t really take it seriously.

We avoid Biblical conflict resolution because it’s uncomfortable and difficult. We prefer the road of judging, condemning, gossip, slander, half-truths, and lies. Let’s be honest, it’s easier to talk about someone you are upset or disappointed with than to actually talk to them. How many of you have ever been the last person to find out that someone else is upset with you? Everyone else in town knows, but you!

So, how should we handle conflict? How should we deal with those whom we are upset with, disappointed in or with whom we disagree? Maybe the Bible has something to say about conflict?

Matthew 18:15-17. This passage gives us a great roadmap for dealing with conflict. “If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.” (MSG)

1. Go directly to the person
2. Take 1-2 witnesses
3. Go to the church
4. Witness to God’s love and forgiveness – not judging, just offering Jesus

But, that’s not really how we tend to do things, is it? Here’s how we tend to deal with conflict:

1. Get upset
2. Talk to anyone who will listen, except the person we have a problem with
3. Speculate, gossip, judge, condemn
4. make a mountain out of a molehill
5. Place more concern on the splinter than the log – and we don’t attempt to take steps to understand the other person.

Matthew 7:1-5- “Don’t judge, so that you won’t be judged. You’ll receive the same judgment you give. Whatever you deal out will be dealt out to you. Why do you see the splinter that’s in your brother’s or sister’s eye, but don’t notice the log in your own eye? How can you say to your brother or sister, ‘Let me take the splinter out of your eye,’ when there’s a log in your eye? You deceive yourself! First take the log out of your eye, and then you’ll see clearly to take the splinter out of your brother’s or sister’s eye.”

We are called to deal with ourselves first. When we have it altogether, then we can concern ourselves with others. Seriously, who do we think we are? Most of us have enough junk to work on in our personal lives…we have enough logs in our eyes that we’ll be working on ourselves until we meet our Maker. I don’t know about you, but if I’m going to work on my own junk, I won’t have any time to deal with some else’s junk. Maybe, just maybe that’s what Jesus was trying to point out!

So, how should we deal with gossip and slander?

1. Refuse it and call it out- When someone starts going down that road, stop them and politely let them know you don’t want to hear it…and then mean it! Sometimes we don’t refuse it and call it out because we all love some juicy gossip!
2. Rebuke it and redirect it- Inform the person you will not entertain the conversation. Ask them if they have talked to the offending person about the issue. 9 times out of 10 they have not and most likely won’t. Encourage them to go talk to the person with whom they have an issue or conflict. Tell them you won’t talk about the issue until they have gone directly to the other person.
3. If and when they have talked to the person, ask if they have resolved the issue. If so, you should encourage them to stop talking about it. If not, you can work through the remaining steps of Biblical conflict resolution. Many times, I’ve found that people continue to talk about situations that have already been resolved. However, the person gossiping and complaining simply did not like the resolution because either they didn’t get their way or they had to compromise. So, they continue to stir up controversy and trouble. In this situation, it might be time to do a little Biblical conflict resolution on the gossip. Now, of course, this kind of stuff would never happen in this church because we’re all good Christian folk, right?

If we would take Jesus and the Bible seriously and practice Biblical conflict resolution, we just might have less conflict. If we would actually talk with those we are in conflict with, we might better understand one another…there might be less jealousy, envy, selfishness, pride, ego trips, and judgmental condemnation. We might stop making mountains out of molehills. When we avoid the person we have a conflict with and talk about it with everyone but the person, all we do is get ourselves more and more worked up about the situation. Then, more often than not, when we finally do talk to the person, we realize we made a big deal out of nothing and wasted a lot of time and energy.

In this morning’s passage of Scripture from John 3, Jesus talked about being born again. He talked about baptism of water and spirit. Water is symbolic of cleansing. The spirit is symbolic of power. In other words, when we are born again, we are powerfully cleansed and made new.

When we have been born again, our desires will change from being hyper-critical, negative, judgmental, and condemning to having a great desire to offer the hope God’s life-transforming salvation with all we come into contact. Because of our baptism by water and spirit, we truly can embrace the ways of Jesus. We don’t have to be bound by the world’s ways of handling conflict. Jesus would not call us to a way of living He did not believe possible. And, so, through this holy mystery of baptism by water and Spirit, we have the ability to live as Jesus calls us to live. May we remember our baptism this day.

Our world and our community need hope. We don’t have to watch the national news to realize that hope is desperately needed, not just outside our doors, but in our midst. Recently in our community, we’ve seen the results of escalating domestic violence, we’ve seen the repercussions of drug and alcohol addiction, we’ve seen the pain and hurt caused by racism and bigotry, we’ve seen increases in crime, we’ve seen a rise in the number of families who are food insecure and families in need of greater amounts of financial assistance (just this morning, before church, 2 different individuals sought assistance from the church). These are no longer things that just happen to “those people” in “those places”. These things happen to these people, our families, our friends, our neighbors, right here in this place.

As the church, we have this great hope in Jesus Christ. Jesus didn’t call us to judge or condemn those in our church, community and world who are hurting and struggling or live differently than we live. Jesus called us to love and to go, to meet people where they are, to meet their basic needs in practical and tangible ways, and offer them hope. When we share our hope, our faith in Christ is strengthened.

How will you be an agent of hope in our community today, tomorrow, and in the days to come? Who will you share our Great Hope with today, tomorrow, and in the days to come? Will you practice Biblical conflict resolution? Will you choose to share hope and love, rather than judge others? Will you choose to save or condemn?