Why Coffee and Donuts Matter

Fresh doughnut and cookies with an espressoI have been thinking about hospitality ever since I visited a local restaurant that did not seem to take customer service seriously. The food could have been outstanding, but I still would not have returned because of the lousy service. Just so you know, the food was not outstanding…it was mediocre at best. I started to think about customer service, hospitality, and the church. We can have great music and great preaching…but if we don’t practice radical hospitality…that great music and great preaching may fall on deaf ears. At the same time, we can have mediocre music and mediocre preaching…and people may return if we practice radical hospitality. And, so, the following are my thoughts based on the restaurant experience.

Let’s be honest for a moment…Those of us in ministry can be a bit arrogant, prideful, and egotistical. And, at the same time, many of are totally oblivious to the world around us.

Now, those of you who struggle with the practice of being honest with yourselves are saying, “Speak for yourself, Jason. I’m not arrogant, prideful, or egotistical. I’m not oblivious to the world around me. I’m ‘culturally relevant’. Hell, I just cussed. And, I did a sermon series based on the characters from ‘Seinfeld’ last month. Anyway, I am the freakin’ dictionary definition of humility.”

Well, now back to reality. Why would I accuse those in ministry of these things? Well, it has to do with our ideas that coffee and donuts don’t matter! We have erroneously  convinced ourselves that our efforts in hospitality really don’t matter.

And, why are we convinced that coffee and donuts don’t matter? Well, because our powerful preaching of the Holy Scripture should be enough to convict and convince people to come back. We don’t have to treat our “guests” well because the Holy Spirit will move and motivate them to return. They will desire to come back because our sermons were a) powerful, b) funny, c) entertaining, d) Spirit-filled, or e) all of the above. Let’s be honest again…how many of you would mark “all of the above” for your last message?

The problem is that when one does a little bit of research, we can see the “fruit” of our powerful preaching. It seems that the Spirit is indeed moving…it just happens to be moving somewhere else. Some of you may say, “Well, all the old ladies say, ‘great job, pastor’, when I’m finished.” Could it be they are simply relieved that you finally shut up? Many of us will get defensive and say, “well, numbers don’t matter.” But, let’s be honest…if we are in the ministry of “making disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world” numbers do matter.

So, I would argue that coffee and donuts do matter! We cannot overlook the importance of first impressions. Our practice of radical hospitality, from the moment someone arrives on our property to the time they leave will have a huge impact on whether or not guests will return. I recently heard that guests will make their decision to return to our churches within the first 6 to 7 minutes of their visit. So, let’s think about what happens during those seven minutes…

– They park

– They walk into the building

– They visit the restroom

– They drink coffee and eat donuts

– They enter the worship space

What doesn’t happen during those seven minutes…powerful preaching, music (some may have gotten the first song in the first seven minutes…but let’s face it, some of our churches have announcements that go on for 10-15 minutes), and all the “important” stuff.

The way we welcome our guests is extremely important. Coffee and donuts are important.

Some will argue that their church is “friendly”. The problem is that most of our churches are only “friendly” with those who already “belong”. I wonder if our visitors would affirm that we are indeed a “friendly” church?

We simply cannot underestimate the importance of the ministry of hospitality. Coffee and donuts matter.

I would go out on a limb and say that if you were to take a look at the growing churches in your community, you would find that they believe that hospitality is important…that coffee and donuts are important.

Then, take a look at the churches who are in decline. If I weren’t a Methodist, I would bet that many (not all) of our churches in decline don’t place a very high priority on hospitality (there are many, many reasons why some churches are in decline…however, I believe hospitality, or the lack thereof, is a big reason for declining congregations). They probably don’t believe that coffee and donuts matter.

“Keep loving each other like family. Don’t neglect to open up your homes to guests, because by doing this some have been hosts to angels without knowing it.” ~Hebrews 13:1-2

hospitality

Christmas Inspiration from Eric Cartman

cartmanI know you’ve all been waiting for this moment…And, I would really hate to disappoint you. So, here it is…the post where I will get on my soapbox about the Christmas season. No, I’m not going to write about “keeping Christ in Christmas”. That whole “war on Christmas” agenda is a ridiculous waste of time. It’s a great adventure in missing the point. I mean, seriously, you get offended when the cashier at Walmart says, “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas?” Get over it. I am more offended by the fact that you are shopping at Walmart. Okay, I’m already getting off topic…sort of.

Instead, this will be about how, in this materialistic consumer-driven society, we have lost the deeper meaning of Christmas. Christmas is supposed to be about hope…faith…joy…peace. Christmas is about the beginning of a new Way…one that leads to life, full life.

At our church, we’ve been talking about how “Christmas is not about me” and how true joy comes when we get our hands “wet and dirty” serving others. It’s our effort to remind people that Christmas isn’t supposed to be the chaotic, stress-filled, busy, expensive event we have turned it into.

Yes, we are guilty of replacing hope, faith, joy, and peace with the exchange of extravagant material goods that push some into greater debt. But, don’t worry. It’s all good because the government will thank you for doing your part in “stimulating the economy.”

It all starts on Black Friday (if not earlier) with people camping out to save $50 on an off-brand flat screen television that will probably stop working shortly after the warranty expires. And, it will end shortly after the “after Christmas” sales have ended and you’ve spent the last of your Christmas cash and gift cards. I’m convinced that the folks at Kohl’s are hoping your mom will buy that ugly sweater…knowing you’ll be forced to come in to make an exchange and find yourself unable to resist the amazing “after Christmas” deals.

So, we buy things for family and friends in an attempt to let them know that we care…to do our part to bring a little bit of joy into their lives. However, that joy is often short-lived. Kids play with the boxes instead of playing with the $100 doll that was inside that box. Siblings try on that sweater only to find that it is too big, too little, or has some kind of weird stain on it. Uncle Joe has too much to drink and calls Grandma a name so offensive you had to look it up on dictionary.com just to make sure it means what you think it means. And, the joy is quickly sucked out of the room.

Remember how Lexus used to try and convince us that the “perfect Christmas gift” would be a new Lexus with a red ribbon in the driveway? This year, our friends at Mercedes-Benz have taken it to a whole new level. Mercedes is playing off that idea, trying to convince us that we deserve the “perfect vehicle that’s just right for you…no matter what list your on.” That’s right folks, it doesn’t matter if you’ve been naughty or nice, Santa (and most likely, the sweet little baby Jesus) wants you to have a brand new Mercedes-Benz.

And, that would be awesome…until you realize that while your spouse just gave you a Benz for Christmas, you still have to make the payments, get insurance, fill up the tank, and worry about where you park at Walmart.

Don’t get me wrong…I love seeing the excitement in my daughter’s eyes as they open their gifts on Christmas morning. But, at the same time, I wonder what exactly am I teaching my children? And, that’s where Eric Cartman comes in.

I’ve always thought that Matt Stone and Trey Parker are brilliant. They have figured out how to take a poorly and oddly animated cartoon and turn it into a huge success. Not only that, I give them credit for being equal opportunity offenders. They don’t just poke fun of particular groups of people…ALL people groups are fair game.

The brilliance of Stone and Parker, while offensive, is their ability to remind us that we all need to stop taking ourselves so seriously. We need to learn to laugh at ourselves from time to time. And, let’s be honest, when we are offended by South Park, it’s generally because the subject matter hits a little too close to home and sheds light in those dark areas we wish they would avoid.

Remember Cartman’s Christian boy band, poking fun at the Christian music industry? Yep, a little too close to home.

Well, the other night, while driving home from a friend’s house, Eric Cartman’s (South Park) version of “O Holy Night” came on the radio. I laughed. I also found Cartman’s version of the tune to be all too real.

Cartman sings, “Jesus was born and so I get presents.”

In the church, we talk about Christmas being about the birth of Christ. We talk about how Christmas is about God coming to earth, in human form, to bring about a better way, to make eternal life a very real possibility. It’s about Jesus…the guy who was all about feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, caring for the orphaned, widowed, and sick, liberating the oppressed, and all that jazz.

And so, we celebrate the birth of the Great Liberator, the friend of sinners, the Prince of Peace by spending way too much money on gifts that no one truly needs…and many times it’s stuff we don’t even want.

We have been convinced that the best way to honor Jesus isn’t to give ourselves away in serving others. No, the best way to honor Jesus at Christmas is to stretch our finances as far as we can without losing the house and car. Do we hope that our children will love us more or be better behaved if we get them the perfect gift?

I get sucked into the materialistic side of Christmas too. My Christmas list is fairly short. A Harley Davidson motorcycle. A Rickenbacker 360. A Taylor 614ce. That’s it. That’s all I want. And guess what? No one who will be buying me a gift for Christmas is going to spend that kind of money on me this year…or any year. And, I wouldn’t want them to. Well, let’s be honest, I wouldn’t stop them!

So, while listening to Cartman sing, I was convicted. Yep, I am just like Eric Cartman. I want to thank Jesus for being born…because I get presents to celebrate His birth.

This year, to combat the materialistic, consumer-driven nature of Christmas we took our girls shopping for children in need. We bought a few fun things. But, we mostly bought the bare necessities that many children go without. We talked about how we really have been blessed and that we have a responsibility to be a blessing to others.

So, if you’re one of those people thinking about buying me something for Christmas…unless it’s something on my list, I’d prefer that you use that money to honor Jesus. Make a donation to Mission Guatemala. Give towards the Kids Against Hunger event on January 21st. Do something that will make someone else’s life a little bit easier.

Church Competition: I Just Don’t Get It!

Throughout my years in ministry, I’ve always been troubled with church competition. Now, I’m not talking about church softball or volleyball leagues (that’s a totally different post on “Christians Behaving Badly”).

What I’m focusing on is the obvious effort of some churches to compete against one another for members. Unfortunately, its not about churches being busy in the work of evangelism and mission. I’d be all for that!

I’m talking about churches that go out of their way to try and recruit “new” members from other churches. Some of the common phrases that start the recruitment go a little something like this:

“My church is better than your church.”

“My church is cooler than your church.”

“I’m not even sure your church is Christian.”

“Your church is full of heathens who believe Christ is for all people.”

“My pastor is so hip and cool. He’s just like (insert the name of your favorite celebrity pastor…Rob Bell, Mark Driscoll, T.D. Jakes, Joel Osteen, Andy Stanley, etc).”

“My pastor is real. He wears jeans…well, sometimes.”

“Our band is awesome. They did a (insert one of the “church-safe” bands, like U2, Coldplay, Dave Matthews, etc) song last week. And, the week before, they sang, ‘Jesus Take the Wheel’.”

And, the list could go on for hours.

Now, I’ll give some the benefit of the doubt. Some folks are just so excited about their church that they simply can’t keep their mouths shut. Every opportunity they have they feel compelled to inform you about all the “happening” things going on in their local congregation. That’s good. I’m glad they are excited.

What concerns me is when churches go out of their way to belittle the ministry of other churches. Some pastors have no problem standing in front of their congregations and announcing that the “church down the road” is “wrong”…and they are “right”…and we need to pray for “them” and make an effort to “win” their people to Christ.

I’ve worked in four churches. In all four churches, I’ve caught wind of other churches preying on the members of other churches. I just don’t get it!

To be honest, while on staff at three of the four churches, I have been invited to join other churches. These invitations were not the “Hey, man. You should check out what you’re doing. You might be able to use some of the stuff we’re doing.” The invitations have been more of the, “Dude. You should leave that place and come with us. We’ve got it going on!” It’s really funny, even telling people that you are part of the pastoral staff of a church does not stop them. They’ve been programmed to get to the end goal…they don’t even register what you’re saying. Here’s an example of one of the “invitations” that took place not so long ago in a downtown coffee shop:

Random Dude (R.D.): “Hey, I see you’re reading ‘Love Wins’.

Me: “Yep. Have you read it?”

R.D.: “No, my pastor said it was garbage.”

Me: “Did he read it? You know, it is okay to think for yourself.”

R.D.: “So, are you like, a Christian?”

Me: “Yes, I am like a Christian.”

R.D.: “Um, do you go to church somewhere.”

Me: “Yep.”

R.D.: “Oh, that’s cool. Man, you should really check out my church, (I’ll leave out the name of the church). We’re starting this new series. You’d dig it. And, our band is pretty incredible too. We have several services on Sunday morning. I’d even meet you in the lobby so you’d have someone familiar to sit with.”

Me: “Actually, I’m an Associate Pastor at my church. And, well, given that I’m one of the pastors, it’s hard for me to get away on Sunday mornings. But, thanks for the invitation.”

R.D.: “Well, seriously, check us out sometime. I think you’d really learn something from our pastor. He’s really awesome.”

Me: “Thanks.”

He had a plan. And, he was sticking to it. The response that I already had a church did not stop him. In fact, the “I’m a pastor” line did not distract him from his goal either. He was determined. Part of me thought, “Good for him. At least he’s trying.” But, then I thought, “Seriously, once someone indicates that they have a church or that they are a pastor, the sales pitch should end. I mean, even the Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses get that.”

I felt like saying, “Dude, I’m thrilled you are excited about your church. I’m excited about mine. You should focus your efforts on people who don’t have a church. Stealing church members is pretty lame.” But, I didn’t.

If we’re all for Christ, shouldn’t we be united and celebrate one anothers ministries? Sure, we may have theological differences…that’s where the “right” and “wrong” stuff comes up (and, by the way, I’m “right” and you are “wrong”). Wouldn’t it be a beautiful picture to the world around us if we could just lay aside our differences and realize that we all have the same goal…connecting people to Christ?

What’s my point? Churches need to stop “recruiting” their members from the ranks of other churches. Even if someone is unhappy at their current church, I’m not going to go out of my way to invite them to my church…eventually, they’d probably be unhappy here too. But, more honestly, I’d like to see them “work it out” with their current church.

We should be “for” one another, like Christ is “for” all of us. So, let’s just stop the whole “my church is better than your church” crap. Generally, it’s a simple issue of preference. So, let’s be honest…it’s not about “how” we worship. It’s about “who” we worship. I’ve been in “cool” churches that really “suck”. And, I’ve been in “lame” churches that are filled with life, joy, peace, love, grace, mercy, and the Spirit.

Church competition just creates this elitist arrogance. So, just stop it. Your church probably isn’t that great anyway.

Taming the Tongue?

At our Tuesdays Together gathering, we have been working through the book of James. Last night, we dealt with James 3:1-12.

James really nails his audience when it comes to words. So, we talked about how our words have the ability to build others up or destroy them. Our words can be used to encourage or discourage. We challenged ourselves to really thing about the power of our words.

When James speaks about controlling our tongues, he’s not only implying that we shouldn’t swear. Too often, that’s what we narrow this down to…cursing…but it falls short. It’s a bigger issue than swearing. It’s about gossip, lying, boasting, bragging, slander, manipulating the facts, and so on.

However, to paint the picture that “taming” the tonuge is only about what we say also falls short. “Taming” the tongue is also about what we don’t say. There are times when we need to speak up, but we stay silent.

Recently, I drove by a church sign that said, “Unspoken words are never regretted.” I know the pastor of this particular church. I know what she is trying to imply. It’s the whole, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” thing. Too often, we speak words and immediately regret them.

However, I have to disagree with the sign. There have been numerous times in my life that I have regretted not saying something. We regret not telling someone we love them. We regret not telling someone we are sorry. We regret not telling someone we have forgiven them. We regret not speaking up for someone who is being abused, oppressed, victimized in some way. We regret not speaking up in defense of the Gospel when others are trashing our faith.

And, let’s be honest…it’s not only about the words we speak or don’t speak…it’s also about the words we type, text, e-mail…

There is a great deal of power in our words. We can use them to praise. We can use them to curse. We can regret words spoken and unspoken. So, maybe we can all just make an effort to think before we speak…to ask ourselves if what we’re about to say is true, necessary, or beneficial before we say it. How will you use your words today? To bless or to curse? To speak truth, love, and hope or to slander, gossip, and destroy?

Going Back to Guatemala

Mission_g

In the very near future, I will be heading to Guatemala with folks from Christ UMC and Our Savior Lutheran Church for a week of missional service with Tom Heaton, Dave Burns, and all the folks at Mission Guatemala

I am excited to return and see firsthand the amazing ministry and progress that has taken place at Mission Guatemala. I was blown away at all that had been done a year ago. I can only imagine what I’ll experience this time around. 

Tom posted today that tomorrow will be the two-year anniversary of Mission Guatemala. Due to the hard work of Tom and Dave, Mission Guatemala has accomplished more in two years than many mission organizations have accomplished in 20 years. 

The hungry are being fed. Shelter is being provided for those without adequate housing. The sick are being healed and cared for. It’s almost like these guys take Jesus seriously!

Mission Guatemala is truly putting the powerful words of John Wesley into practice. Wesley said, Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.”

Last year, I was moved, humbled, challenged, restored, and renewed during my time in Guatemala. While digging what seemed like a never-ending hole to help provide a home for a family who had lost their home, I realized how I take for granted all that I have.

Also, while in the hole, physically worn out from pick axing, digging, and lifting the dirt out of the hole, I realized something…This is what it’s all about! Jesus didn’t intend for us to simply look on others with compassion and empathy…He intends for us to do what we can! For some, that may mean a monetary donation. For others, it may mean digging a ridiculously deep hole. For others, it may mean dedicating time to prayer. And, the list of ways to help goes on and on. The bottom-line is this…we are all called to do something!

I’m returning to Guatemala in part to help continue the good work of Mission Guatemala. For as long as I am physically able, I deeply desire to return to Guatemala to do what I can to help bring about a greater good for the people of Guatemala. 

 However, and this might be selfish, but I’m eager to return because of the ways in which Tom, Dave, and all those with Mission Guatemala impacted my life. The folks at Mission Guatemala…and all those we came into contact with…left a lasting impression on my heart and mind. 

Now, one doesn’t have to travel to Guatemala for this experience. There are opportunities right outside your door. Heck, for some of you, there are opportunities within the walls of your own home. The important thing is to open our eyes…to be aware…and then to respond by putting into practice those words of John Wesley. 

“Do all the good you can!”