Recently, I saw a magazine cover featuring one of the more conservative “reality” TV stars with “Defending Our Faith” as the headline.

I’ll be honest, when I first saw it, I threw up in my mouth a little. Why? Because I’ve never really understood the whole “defend your faith” thing.

I mean, on a base level I get it. We should always “be prepared to give a reason for the hope you have.”

However, it is my considered opinion that there is a big difference between defending ones faith and simply explaining why you believe a certain way.

When I see headlines reading “defending our faith”, I always make a stereotypical judgment that the person holds beliefs that don’t really mesh well with the way of Jesus and therefore have to go out of their way to justify their particular beliefs. Generally, folks who feel the need to defend their faith do so because of their various “isms” and “phobias”.

I’m convinced that if we are truly following the way of Jesus, you know…loving God, loving neighbor, feeding the hungry, meeting the needs of the least/last/lost/poor among us…a defense of our faith would not be necessary. An explanation? Maybe. But, a defense? Probably not.

Maybe those who feel a need to “defend their faith” have simply lost focus. Maybe instead of focusing on what we stand for as followers of Jesus, they are consumed with what they stand against. Maybe instead of focusing energies on meeting the basic, essential needs of those in our community and world, they are focused on issues that are more political in nature. Maybe instead of realizing that they could be wrong, they are so convinced that they are “right” that they can’t imagine an alternative. Maybe they are unsure of being “right” and so they are aggressive in defending their faith as an attempt to convince themselves. Who knows?

All I know is that I’m more interested in living my faith than having to defend it.

Today’s entry is from Josh Cooper from The Bridge Community Church in Muncie, IN. Josh and I both have roots at Center Chapel United Methodist Church and the Delta High School. Josh began to stray from the path of righteousness when he decided to attend Taylor University. We should forgive him for this indiscretion…After all, he is Facebook friends with Bonzi Wells!

Nod. Smile. (Awkwardly) Say, “You really should… we’d love to have you.”

In fact, some are being sincere when they say this, and fully plan on coming…. they just never get around to it.  So here is some advice. If you really do plan on visiting a church, just show up.  Just stop by and (hopefully) enjoy it, connect with some people, worship God, learn something and then go find your pastor friend and give them a resounding “Great Sermon! You were awesome!”  And if your pastor is anything like me, he will hear that statement, nod, smile, and (awkwardly) say “thank you.”

Josh has been the lead teacher of the Bridge since it’s launch in September, 2006. He served for six years as a youth pastor and three years on staff at Youth for Christ, all in his hometown of Muncie. Josh graduated from Taylor University in 2003 with a degree in Christian Education and Biblical Literature. Josh is married to his beautiful wife Jill and they are the proud parents of two Puggles: Reno and Vegas. In his free time, Josh enjoys most any sport and watching the NFL in unhealthy doses. (borrowed from The Bridge website)

Recently, Relevant Magazine published an article on their website about bad reasons to leave your church. After the article hit their website, response blogs popped up giving good reasons to leave  your church.

Reading these various articles caused me to start thinking about some of the do’s and don’ts of leaving a church. I’d love for some of my friends in ministry to share some of their do’s and don’t of leaving a church as well. We can learn from these experiences together.

There are times in which it becomes necessary to leave a church. Some do it with grace. Some, well, they don’t…

First and foremost, let me be upfront and say that often times the church gives people plenty of reason to leave. And, we don’t always do the best of following up with people before or after they leave. So, we definitely need to own up to our role. However, this blog is simply trying to provide some suggestions on things to do and to avoid when leaving a church.

Trust me, I get it! There have been times when people have made comments before, after, even during services that have made me want to walk out the door. And, I get paid to be there! There have been times when people have treated my family poorly and I’ve been ready to resign on the spot. There are days when leaving the church behind sounds like a great idea.

So, if you are going to church and you’re miserable, it’s probably time to move on. If you are going to church and you’re not making connections, it may be time to look around. If you are going to church and have been the victim of any type of abuse, run like hell.

However, we all know that there are good, bad, and ugly reasons to leave a church. And, there are good, bad, and ugly ways to leave a church.

If you are leaving your church, do:

1. Prayerfully consider your decision. Often times, we make decisions in a rash manner. Therefore, I suggest praying about the decision. This helps you avoid rushing into a decision and gives time to consider if you are jumping the gun, being petty or if it is the right decision.

2.  Talk to a pastor or ministry leader about your decision to leave, especially if you have not fully made up your mind. Honestly discuss your concerns/reasons for leaving. At some point, you really enjoyed this church. So, it is appropriate to share why you are leaving. It may be that your sharing could help the church improve in the areas of your concern. Also, in discussing your reasons for leaving, you might find the response of the pastor or ministry leader will confirm your reasons for leaving. Then,  you won’t have to later ask, “should I have left?” I’ve always appreciated folks calling, sending an email, or talking face-to-face to say, “Hey, we’re checking out some other churches and here are the reasons why.” I generally respond with, “Well, that stinks for us because you are awesome. But, I understand and I hope you find a place where you can connect and feel good about.”

3. Maintain healthy relationships with friends you made at the church. Just because you’ve left and are now attending a different church does not mean you need to get a new group of friends.

4. Keep a positive attitude. You never know when you might want to return. After checking out other churches, you may find that your old church wasn’t so bad. If you haven’t burned any bridges, it might make it easier to return.

5. Get connected to a new church and do your best to get plugged in. I know several folks who have left churches…sometimes for good reasons, sometimes for petty reasons. Either way, they never took the step to get plugged into a new church. Therefore, avoiding church became easier than finding a new community to engage with.

6. Understand that the church is made up of humans. Pastors are human. Church folks are human. We make mistakes. We drop the ball. We fail to get it right more than we actually get it right. Realize that we really are trying our best.

If you are leaving your church, don’t:

1. Trash the church publicly. Outside of cases of abuse, it’s best to take the high road. However, if abuse has happened, get on your soapbox until someone pays attention. While you may be upset with the church, there are many people who continue to love and be committed to the church. When you slander the church, no one wins. Making personal attacks about a pastor or ministry leader is tempting, but not helpful. Tossing the entire church and its ministries under the bus because of a theological difference or preference of worship style or missional focus is not helpful.

2. Actively recruit friends from your old church to attend your new church. It’s awesome that your new church is perfect. However, it’s unethical to try to lure folks away from one church to another.

3. Blame everyone else. Outside of cases of abuse, sometimes it’s just not a good fit. It’s not necessarily the fault of the pastor, the youth guy or the people. It’s okay to say, “well, it just isn’t for me.”

4. Mask the real reason for leaving a church behind something else. Be open and honest. If there is a theological difference, don’t tell people you left because you prefer contemporary worship. If there is an issue of abuse, don’t tell people it just wasn’t a good fit. I think you get the idea. Again, this will help the church address any issues, if necessary. Remember, sometimes it’s just not a good fit.

5. Focus so much on the negatives that you forget all of the positive things that you experienced at the church. At some point, you loved this church or you wouldn’t have decided to come. Hold onto the positive experiences and don’t let the negatives control you.

I’m sure I’ve missed some do’s and don’ts. Seriously, share some of your do’s and don’ts for leaving the church.

The United Methodist Church in Indiana is in the spotlight once again for issues revolving around homosexuality.

You might recall recent events that focused on an Indiana UMC congregation no longer partnering with the Boy Scouts due to their new position on homosexuality.

You also might recall another Indiana UMC congregation making the news due to not including Pride Lafayette in their community event.

Now, a congregation in Alexandria has become the focus of a news story surrounding the dismissal of a choir director.

Let me be very clear…there is always more to the story than what we read in the paper. The online commentary has been extremely critical of the UMC as a whole (some of it deserving, some of it not). The articles, blogs, and comments surrounding the events have been extremely critical of the pastor, District Superintendent, and Indiana UMC (some of it may be deserving, some of it not).

But, the bottom-line is that there is always more to the story. These stories sell papers. Let’s be honest, you know the Herald Bulletin website has seen a lot more traffic in the last 5 days than it probably has in the last 5 months! And, again, there is always more to the story.

While I have clergy status as a local pastor in the Indiana Conference of the United Methodist Church, I do not have all of the juicy details concerning this situation. All I know is that people on both sides of the issue have been hurt. In this particular situation, there is no obvious winner or loser. And, of course, there is more to the story.

Many of my regular readers understand that I am extremely liberal when it comes to social issues. I have been pretty straight-forward in saying that I disagree with the UMC’s current statement regarding human sexuality, marriage, and inclusion of LGBTQ clergy. I simply feel it stops short. However, while I may disagree, I still uphold the Discipline. I will continue to work within the system, honoring the system, while attempting to partner with others to usher in change.

My biggest issue with all of these situations is when the Discipline is brought into play. In each case, only a portion of the Discipline’s statement on human sexuality has been shared. When a more conservative decision is made in regards to matters of sexuality, a small portion of the Discipline is used to defend the decision. The portion often shared is this, “The United Methodist Church does not condone the practice of homosexuality and considers this practice incompatible with Christian teaching.” Taken as a stand alone sentence, this sounds like a very strong statement that would fully support the actions in each circumstance.

With the issue in Alexandria, the portion of the Discipline used to justify dismissing the choir director applies to clergy (those appointed by the Cabinet) and not to lay employees. Therefore, it does not really support the decision made. Of course, there is more to the story. The article in the Herald Bulletin has so many holes in it…and is mostly presented from only one point of view.

However, this is an example of picking and choosing which parts of a statement will support our particular theological, political, or social stance on any given issue. We do it with Biblical interpretation all the time too…we pick and choose verses that will drive home the point we make, disregarding the story within it’s particular historical context. This practice is dangerous. It gives a false representation of the church. When we apply this type of pick and choose interpretation to the Bible, it can give a false representation of the holistic story of God.

The Discipline’s statement on human sexuality can be found here. Within it, you can find statements that seem extremely conservative. At the same time, one can find statements that seem extremely liberal. However, taken as a whole, it’s fairly moderate. Taken as a whole, we find a central theme…love for all.

For me, of course this is my own particular interpretation of the Discipline, the most powerful statement is this, “We affirm that God’s grace is available to all. We will seek to live together in Christian community, welcoming, forgiving, and loving one another, as Christ has loved and accepted us.  We implore families and churches not to reject or condemn lesbian and gay members and friends. We commit ourselves to be in ministry for and with all persons.”

Each of the recent “news stories” focusing on Indiana United Methodist Churches remind me of my call to do certain things…to love God, to love neighbor, to pray for/encourage/support my brothers and sisters in ministry, to be committed to be in ministry “for and with all persons”, to uphold the Discipline while boldly working to bring about change, and to remember that there is always more to the story.

I believe in confession. I also believe in getting stories out before others can get them out for me. I like to take ownership of events on my own terms. So, today, I need to make an honest confession.

In the late 80’s, around the time Back to the Future was released, Michael J. Fox was sort of a hero of mine. I have an older sister who, on occasion would get an issue of Teen Beat magazine and Fox would often be featured (along with Kirk Cameron and Ralph Macchio). I thought Fox was cool.

I found myself desiring the jean jacket pictured above. If Michael J. Fox wore it, it had to be cool. Therefore, my parents did their best to deliver. We went to the Muncie Mall and found the jacket that most resembled the jacket Fox wore.

Yep, with this jacket, I would become “cool”.

Now, in the late 80’s, in order to take your jean jacket to the next level, one needed buttons/pins to accessorize the jacket. Most of the buttons would feature your favorite band or catchy phrases (like “gag me with a spoon”).

My jacket had 2 buttons. I thought they were awesome. This is the part where the honest confession comes in…The two buttons were…

Tear for Fears

Amy Grant

Whew! I feel better getting that off my chest.

Now, don’t judge me. I’m sure you all made some questionable music choices “back in the day”. At that point in my life, I considered the Purple Rain soundtrack to be as edgy as my Quiet Riot tape.